holistic.

I’m a healer. I believe that my career as a nurse was one of my greatest accomplishments. I helped and saved people on a level that medications couldn’t touch. I don’t think realized this then. I was simply treating them the way I would want to be treated. Which should be instinctual for everyone, right?! It is not and that’s a large part of why I left healthcare.

Most nurses weren’t there for patients, they were there for paychecks. Patients weren’t there for nursing, they were there for pain pills. Those that cared were stretched thin by understaffing and a corporation that could care less. They pack the beds with no regard for their ability to provide holistic care or even minimal care at times. Everyone too busy to be bothered, leaving the patients to suffer.

You don’t need a title or certificate to do for those that are in need.

In a time when I questioned the people in my life, they each showed me why I was in their life. I have helped each person that I know in some way, very few [if any] can say that I have personally, negatively impacted their lives. I enjoy helping others: whether it’s helping them heal, helping them feel like a person, helping them be brave, helping them find their potential or just providing what they lack in a moment of need. This is my passion. I am persistent and adamant. I don’t expect reciprocation; I know that I do whatever is in my power to help over hurt.

The times that stand out to me the most are simple acts of kindness that happened to be in a healthcare setting. They weren’t the resuscitations or wound healing moments.

I think often about a beautiful soul I fell in love with while working at the nursing home. A truly grateful woman that sincerely wanted to be strong enough to return home. She never complained with a million reasons to. I reflect on all the qualities her family held that I admired so much back then. Her husband advocated for her in a way that was demandingly gentle. He hurt when she hurt; he didn’t want to see her struggle and would raise hell until she had the attention she deserved. [he could be a little scary at times but he always apologized :)] It was a quality to admire. Her children were always joyful and grateful; and them bringing in her grandbabies was the rehabilitation she really needed. I always looked forward to the last door on the left!

But I think about the one time she really needed us. A day of confusion and fear. She wasn’t herself when I came in to check on her. She was terrified… She wanted to leave, immediately! She didn’t want to hear anyone or anything except her husband. She was untrusting of her environment and everything in it. I could only imagine the fear of being in an unfamiliar place unsure if the people are there to help or hurt you.

At first, I took it personally. She refused to let me assess her and accused me of wanting to hurt her. I thought maybe she needed a few minutes but I knew that it was completely out of her character. Something was wrong. While I was out checking her chart for behaviors, she transferred to her wheelchair and met me in the hall. She was combative and angry. I knew that I wouldn’t leave her until she knew I was on her side. Staff suggested calling the cops or to have her injected with a sedative but neither of those are real solutions. She didn’t want to hurt us, she was confused and feared being hurt. I wanted her to feel safe; to know that she was safe. I asked that they wait and let me see what I could do.

I walked her up the hall and out the front door. We ended up on the porch, waiting for her husband to arrive. I validated her feelings and assured her that she was safe. Nothing else mattered. I don’t know how long we sat there or all the things that were said; I simply sat with her, providing a safe place and tried to explain what she couldn’t understand. I never dismissed her worries or feelings. They were real to her in that moment.

I remember the way that her face had changed when it was all over. Her body relaxed as she reoriented herself. She knew that she was safe.

THIS is why I was in healthcare. To do what’s in the patient’s best interest. Calling the law or sedating her wasn’t in HER best interest, it only would of been for our convenience. I’m grateful that I was there that particular day; I don’t how things would have ended up under the supervision of someone else but I am certain that my intervention was the right one.

Having it be over for her wasn’t enough, because I am also a seeker of source. I looked through all her documents and med administrations and found the reason for the episode. Her medications were adjusted and she eventually returned home with no further episodes. Praise be.

Putting someone else’s needs before your own, being compassionate in trying times, being empathetic to things we don’t understand, being patient in difficult situations and always providing the highest quality of care we are capable of: these [along with many others] are things that are lacking from our health system.

This was seen almost daily with another patient. He was there for rehabilitation after surgery and was unable to walk on admission. He was described as noncompliant, loud and rude when I took report that hall. When I got to his room, he was a familiar face from around town. I introduced myself and he had no problem expressing his distain for being there. Most of his complaints stemmed from losing his independence or simple fix things like wanting ice.

I liked him. The complaints he had about his interactions or about being there weren’t wrong, he was quite accurate on most of them. I tried to make light of what I could, encouraged laughter and catered to the things in my power. In the following weeks, he would see me passing and holler out or ask for me personally. I never did anything that everyone there wasn’t capable of doing but they’d waddle their ass where ever I was for anything he needed. Some refused to help him with anything outside of medication administration.

I think the difference was in my approach: If he started yelling, I would come flying through the door, while smiling, and say, “you ain’t gon keep hollerin at me!” He would laugh and start his, “listen listen listen…” and I simply listened. I would listen to whatever he needed to express, find solution and try my best to explain or fix it.

I overheard another nurse responding to his shouting one day; she shouted right back ending the conversation saying, he wasn’t the only one there and there were people far worse off than he was. WHAT?! They yelled back and forth until they were both enraged. When I came down to deescalate, it had all started over him wanting his toe nails cut. He said he had asked all week and no one would help him. She wasn’t doing anything. She wasn’t in the middle of something. She was lazy and he told her so. [Which is not something lazy people like to hear.]

Also, one person is incomparable to any other. What’s most important to one, could be the least of another’s: but we have no right to tell them that. A person’s pain and problems are equally as important as anyone else’s. Everyone’s complaint is important and valid TO THEM. The worst thing you can do is have someone feel unheard and unimportant.

I told him before we discussed anything he was gonna have to calm down before his blood pressure topped out… I listened to him complain…calmly. when he pulled back the covers, I smirked saying how long over due they were and how they looked like they hadn’t been cut since ’99. I told him I didn’t like even the prettiest feet but I assured him that it would be taken care of. Lightening the room tremendously. I went to the stock room and brought all the things we needed, sat it on his table and told him that I’d come back at the end of my shift and cut them dragon talons for him. He hollered out laughing. I left him with an entirely different attitude than she provoked. He was heard. He was calm.

Exactly as I said, at 7 o’clock I came back. He joked about how he figured I’d be running out the door by now. It turned out that our toe nail clippers were no match for his nails. He told me about the kind he had at home that worked, I left his feet soaking, went to CVS, bought a pair and it took maybe 5 minutes to cut and file his toe nails. I applied lotion and he was like a new man! A simple act that could of been handled days ago if someone had of taken the time. They could’ve asked his wife to bring his clippers from home. Anything to help him feel heard!

I would always reiterate how he needed to do better with how he talked to people; I’m not sure if it rubbed off or he just lightened up as he healed but the him that arrived and the him that discharged were two different people. He still calls me his favorite nurse when I see him out, WALKING like he had never been bed ridden! I know that his toe nails weren’t his reason for being there but it changed his experience there, for the better and that matters.

Healing is not all medical. Healing is should be holistic. Mind, body and soul. Just listening can be healing.

I’m not sure this blog went in the direction it started with but please take the following away from it: Small acts can be a big deal. Everyone can be a healer.