David & Bath-sheba

[[David [the sheepherder] who God chose, the one who killed Goliath, was now King over the children of Israel and had multiple wives and concubines was living in Jerusalem.]]

So, one day David wakes up and goes out on his roof and sees a beautiful woman washing herself. Her name was Bath-sheba and she was married to a man named Uriah. David asked around about her and was told that she was married but he still had his messengers go take her and bring her to his house. She came, they had sex and she went back home. (In scripture it says something about her being purified from her uncleanness.. which from what I gather is referencing her period)

Well, Bath-sheba got pregnant and sent word to David.

David sent word to Joab [who was out battling the children of Ammon] to send him Uriah. When he got there, he small talked him a little about the war and then told him to go home and wash his feet. But, Uriah didn’t go home, he slept with David’s other servants at the door of the palace.

The next day, David asked him why he didn’t go home and Uriah was like, “all your other men live in tents and fields… I can’t just go home, eat, drink and sleep with my wife.”

David told him to stay the night and leave the next day. Uriah stayed: he ate and David got him drunk so he didn’t go home that night either.

The next day, he wrote a letter to Joab telling him to put Uriah on the front lines of the worst battle, to turn his back on him so that he may die.

Well, low and behold, Joab does and Uriah is killed almost immediately.

Joab sends word to David and he has a ‘no big deal’ attitude about it and tells Joab, “don’t let it bother you, the sword kills one as well as another…”

When Bath-sheba heard about her husband, she of course was in mourning and the second she was done, David brought her to his house and she became his wife. She ended up having a son.

Well, the Lord was pissed and he sent Nathan [the Prophet] to David with a story.

Nathan tells David that there’s 2 men in a city, one rich and one poor. The rich one had plenty of sheep and the poor man had only 1 little sheep he had bought and saved. The poor man cared for that little sheep, it grew up with him and his kids, had it’s own bowl and own cup and slept on the poor man’s chest. The sheep was like a daughter to the man. One day, a stranger comes to the rich man and he doesn’t want to kill any of his sheep to feed the stranger and he goes and takes the little sheep from the poor man…

David gets fired up and says, Oh, whoever has done this is gonna die! He is going to give the poor man 4 sheep because he did that and had no pity.

Nathan shoots right back and says, “David, YOU are the man.” He goes on telling him how the Lord has blessed him beyond measure and yet, he still did this evil thing of killing Uriah and taking his wife! The Lord said, I’m going to take your wives from before your eyes and give them to your neighbors. He said, They will lay together in broad daylight because you had Uriah killed secretly!

David only replies, I have sinned and Nathan says, The Lord isn’t going to kill you but that child she just had, IS going to die.

To no surprise, the baby gets sick. David gets extra dramatic and takes off his clothes, lays on the ground and doesn’t eat. On the 7th day, the baby dies and when they tell David, he gets up, washes off, puts on some clean clothes and went home to eat.

The servants started talking and ended up asking David, Why is it that you rolled around on the ground not eating while the child was alive and then you get up and eat once he’s dead?!

With his ‘no big deal’ attitude again, David says, while the baby was alive, I cried and didn’t eat because we didn’t know if God would have mercy on me and let the child live (like he was doing it for show it seemed to me) but the baby is dead now, why should I fast? Can I bring him back?

When I tell you that I was feeling some type of way about David… he had always lived a holy life and followed God’s ways and now all of a sudden, he’s just doing whatever the hell he wants!

Anyways, Bath-sheba mourns her little baby and the book says, all in one sentence, that David comforted her, had sex with her and she conceived another son, that they named Solomon. I think God called him Jebidiah.

But, that’s the end of that little story.

What a son of a wicked rebellious woman.

Until the next, byeluhyou.